Waiting For My Soul to Catch Up

A teacher once explained to me the Native American belief that our souls need time to "catch up" after a journey. At the time, I was having trouble writing about a recent move from my home at the New Jersey Shore to the mountains of Colorado. I couldn't put my experiences into words and was even struggling to center myself in this new time and space. My teacher told me that I needed to let my soul catch up and settle back in to my body before I could fully take in those experiences. I almost feel the same way right now. I have just returned from a ten-day trip to the East Coast to visit home, family, and friends. Driving back to Indiana yesterday, going 7o mph on the Interstate, I think I may have left my soul behind. And now I am waiting for it to catch up.

I have unpacked, settled the material things, started the laundry, and quickly jumped back into the routine; but I am feeling a little "off," like something is missing. The last ten days were a flurry of activity. I stayed in a different place almost every night. I visited or drove through seven states. I played with nieces and a nephew, spent time with my siblings and my mother, visited friends, and hung out with children I used to take care of (now in their teens!). I walked for hours on the beach, my toes sinking into the wet sand as the waves gently washed over them, and journeyed around New York City on foot. I took a boat cruise and a train trip, and I drove (and drove and drove and drove). I had a wonderful time and I enjoyed every experience. The trip was fulfilling and exhausting. By the time I pulled in to my driveway back in Indiana last night, I don't think I could have driven another mile or slept anywhere but my own bed. It was so nice to be home (this home in Indiana).

But it still feels like I am not fully home yet. It feels like I am only halfway here. And here is different. It's almost like I am looking at it with new eyes. I wonder, will my eyes ever adjust so I see this place the same way I did before? Or is this new perspective the way it will be for me from now on? Once my soul catches up, will I just go back to the way I was? Or did this recent experience change me - like most experiences do - and transform me into someone new?

I'll have to wait and see. I'll have to wait for my soul to catch up and see who I am then, when body and soul merge back into one.