Faith

I went to church today - a Sunday morning Catholic mass. I am not Catholic. Well, wait...I was baptized Catholic but then my parents left the Catholic church and raised me and my sisters and brother, up to a certain point, in the Methodist church. Eventually there came a time when my mother set us free to believe whatever we wanted to believe - to search out our own faith. My older sister stuck with Methodist. My brother moved more towards nature-based religions. I'm not quite sure what my younger sister believes. And me? I'm confused.

I don't know what I believe. I am definitely not Catholic. I wouldn't even call myself Christian. I am not particularly an atheist - someone who does not believe in God. I guess I'm more of an agnostic. My Oxford Dictionary defines an agnostic as, "a person who believes that the existence or nature of God cannot be proven." That seems right to me.

I think religion is pure faith. It is the belief that something is out there. What? Whom? Where? How? Does anyone really know? And does anyone really have the right to tell me that their religion or their faith is the one? I'd rather look around, explore, sample all different religions and faiths and figure it out on my own. I'd rather put together the things that make sense to me, that move me, that bring me peace; and create my own faith. I'd rather be accepting and welcoming of all faiths; not shunning any, but not putting all my faith in any one either. I'd rather make it up as I go along.

So, while my visit to a Catholic church this morning was an interesting experience, I know I won't return (except for the occasional wedding, funeral or baptism - which is why I was there today). It's just not for me. It's not who I am or what I choose to believe.

I choose to believe in nature. I believe in evolution. I believe in karma. I believe in humanity. I believe in peace. That's a good start. That is how I am building my faith.