Ending

Last night, I got together with three women from my small group at Women Writing for (a) Change. We gathered for dinner, wine, conversation and closure, as our small group time together has come to an end. Fortunately, three of us will still take part in the writing group together but one of us is moving on. As I thought about our group's finish, I wrote a few words to mark the ending of this phase and the beginning of something new. Here are my thoughts on ending...

It seems like things are always ending. Good-bye is always at the tip of the tongue. Things begin, with all the flourish of beginning - a welcome, a celebration, the awkward getting-to-know-each other phase. But before long everything usually becomes comfortable, easy, common and natural. Like we have always been a part of each other’s lives, always been this group. And we go on with the day to day, growing closer in our connections and appreciating each other’s presence and gifts. But then, all of a sudden, there comes an end – a good-bye. One phase of this life ends to make way for the next phase. Sometimes there is sadness, a loss, grief. Sometimes relief. Sometimes we are ready for the end and live in anticipation for the next beginning. But that ending – that good-bye, that moving away or moving apart or moving on – must be noticed, must be acknowledged. Closure is what many call it. Coming to a conclusion, settling on a solution, finalizing, being at peace and letting it go – these things are necessary at an end.

There are words to signal an ending. There are gestures and rituals to signify that something is coming to a close. There are large productions, festive send-offs, tearful ceremonies, and all sorts of ways to document the memories of a time spent together. There is a way to say good-by with heart and a way to end things with cruelty and pain. There are ways to honor endings, and ways to let them go quietly. There are endings that seem to never end and there are good-byes said so quickly it is as if the words were not even spoken. There are so many ways to bring something to a close, so many words that mean good-bye.

I like our ending, because it is not an end at all. We may say good-bye, pass the stone one last time and distinguish the candle; but like the smoke that rises from the flame and lingers through the room; our experience lingers in my heart. And I know we shall meet again.