How do you know if/when you are settling? And what is settling, really? Is it contentment? Happiness? Laziness? Fear? Is it the inability to look for, reach for, try for, more? Is it giving up and giving in? Is it OK to settle? Or is it a negative thing? And how do you really know if you are settling or just living your life?
I know of times that I have settled - or things I have settled for. I've settled for jobs in childcare because I was too afraid to pursue my true passion of writing. I've settled for places to live because of someone or something that brought me there. I've settled for relationships because I often thought I couldn't do any better. I've settled for certain lifestyles because "everyone else is doing it," or I couldn't afford anything different, or perhaps was afraid, or tired, or was just not inspired to search for more. I've settled for being treated certain ways. I've settled for being someone I really wasn't inside. I've settled for what was given to me.....because that's all I could do.
All this talk about settling and I am the one who tells everyone to go out and live their dreams. I am the one who has taken off - ventured out on my own - just because. I am the one who acts as if all of my dreams can come true if only I take action. Well, I am beginning to think that's all a fantasy.
Maybe we do settle for things because we don't think we deserve better, or we're tired, or afraid, or perhaps just don't know what else is "out there." But perhaps we also settle because we are comfortable, content, happy in the moment and in need of nothing more.
If what I am looking for is happiness in the moment - there is no need to continue the search. There is no need to keep wondering what if, what next, what else? There is only a need to appreciate and enjoy what I have NOW. And take my life moment by moment, day by day. Why am I always looking to the future and thinking - then I'll be happy - when happiness awaits me right here in the present, in my every day life?
My thoughts on this are that maybe I just need to wake up and experience the present moment. The past is gone - done, over, lived through and survived. The future is yet to be seen. But right now - the people, things, events, images and emotions in my life - are the important things. These are what matter. And I am not settling for them. I am living and loving them.
The Scribbler
- Dawn
- I am a writer. I write for self-understanding, personal development, creative expression and transformation. My writing practice takes the shape of journaling, poetry, personal essays and free writing exercises. I am currently pursuing an Individualized Master of Arts in Women's Transformative Writing Process from Antioch University McGregor in Yellow Springs Ohio. I work independently creating and facilitating writing workshops and one-on-one coaching sessions for women interested in using writing as a tool for transformation and personal development. Groups focus on journaling, personal narrative, poetry and writing process.
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1 comment:
I think there is a fine line between always trying to reach out for the next best thing (ie: not being present and grateful for what you have in front of you) and being stuck because you're afraid of the unknown or that you won't be good enough.
I struggle with these very same thoughts and feelings sometimes...usually in relation to myself & what I'm doing (or not doing) not as much with relationships. I wish I knew the answers; I wish I knew how to know the difference b/t the two in any given situation--for sure. I have glimpses of clarity from time to time...but it never seems to last (according to John Mayer, it's not supposed to :)
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