Self-doubt

It creeps in like the rising tide upon the shore, sucking away the ground beneath me, washing away my footprints from moments ago. I stand alone, feet submerged in the cold waters, losing my footing, slipping away. This is self-doubt - rising, sucking, submerging, erasing. One comment, one mistake, one look of judgment, one criticism and I am overcome with the feeling. I'm not good enough. I don't know enough. I haven't learned enough...I'm not enough. It is as if one person's disapproval proves my unworthiness, one person's opinion out-weighs all others. I start to wonder: Why have I chosen this path? What brought me here? What made me think I could do this? What will I do when this doesn't work out? Where do I go from here?

But then I remember, at least sometimes, that I am good enough. I do know enough. I have learned plenty. I am enough. I am here because it is where I want to be. I am doing this because it is what I love more than anything in the world. I am following the path I have chosen because it is what is right for me. It will work out. I will be fine. And I will continue on no matter what anyone says or thinks or does.

I am living this life because it is mine. Because I want it. But I know that self-doubt will creep in again - over and over just like the tide. I just have to remind myself that it will seep out again, too, and once again I will be standing on my own two feet, on solid ground, looking out at the distant shore - and all that remains open to me from this vantage point.